


Undisclosed Desires

by Ellies



Series: Alpha Damen and Laurent (ABO Captive Prince AU) [2]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alpha Damen, Alpha Laurent, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Auguste is also a bro (literally), Crying, Drama & Romance, Drinking & Talking, F/M, I don't know how else to tag, I'm here for Laurent and Auguste interact, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Many POV, Mutual Pining, Nikandros is a bro, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Pining, Slow Romance, Tea as a gift, Teahouses, They just have to admit it, Unsafe Sex, brothers talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:09:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellies/pseuds/Ellies
Summary: He tried to sleep, but couldn’t. He was distracted by the phone he still had in the nightstand, his concentration stolen by it, like it was burning in front of his eyes.Damen just wished he could forget him.-Laurent and Damen try to forget their night together.Now with Auguste's POV
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince), Damen/Lykaios (Captive Prince)
Series: Alpha Damen and Laurent (ABO Captive Prince AU) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936591
Comments: 9
Kudos: 43





	Undisclosed Desires

Lykaios was sweet, and beautiful. Damen loved her golden hair and the soft and gentle curves of her body. She touched him just as he liked, she knew where to touch him to give him the most pleasure while she was sucking him, slender fingers tracing the curve of his balls, and down to his ass. She was tight – oh, so tight and wet – when he pushed inside of her, and she made the most beautiful soft whines and moans, her cheeks red and her breath laboured, bouncing on his dick and curving her spine, exposing her full breast.  
Damen liked it. Still, as he felt his orgasm building, he thought about a whole different kind of blond, a different kind of body, hard and lean and strong. He imagined being fucked face first into the mattress, Laurent’s cock pounding into his ass, making him scream and beg and come undone. 

He released himself on her abdomen, painting it white, and then he grabbed her waist and made her lay on the bed, eating her out while he was still catching his breath; anything, as long she didn’t realize he was no longer thinking of her. 

When she came, she trembled around his head and he put two fingers inside of her to reach her sweet spot to make the orgasm last longer. She rewarded him with a scream, the first of the night, and her walls clenched his fingers tightly as she breathed heavily. She smelled sweet, so typically omega, and before Damen would have loved it, would have breathed her scent and fucked her another time, but he just felt empty. Still, he smiled at her, kissing her neck and making her chuckle, desperately trying to feel happy with her, as she deserved. She didn’t deserve an alpha who couldn’t give her what she wanted, love, a knot during her heat, children, a future. Lykaios had made clear that she liked Damen and would gladly spend her life with him. They had been together for two months, and never spent their heat and rut with one another. Damen just _couldn’t_. 

The reality of his feelings hit him like a stone. Damen didn’t love her, and he never could. He felt his chest tighten with something foreign, and he had to shut his eyes to calm his heart, beating furiously. He felt something like guilt towards her, who was too gentle and sweet. 

He tried to sleep, but couldn’t. He was distracted by the phone he still had in the nightstand, his concentration stolen by it, like it was burning in front of his eyes. 

Damen just wished he could forget him.

* * *

Leaving her wasn’t easy. She didn’t cry, didn’t accuse him. She was furiously understanding. 

“I want you to be happy, Damen. Even if it’s not with me,” she said, caressing his curls and cheeks, smiling softly at him even if he could clearly see tears in her eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Lykaios,” he sighed, his eyes wet. He truly cared about her. “I wish I could – I could love you like you deserve,” 

She shook her head. “I’m sure you care about me, that’s why I’m not- well, _I’m_ sad, but I care about you too. I can see that’s something troubling you, and that you couldn’t be happy with me. Not truly.” 

He hugged her, and held her for too long. He wanted to smell her floral shampoo another time, wanted to feel her heat against his skin. He kissed her cheek before letting her go, and she smiled as she closed the door behind her. 

Damen let himself slip on the floor. In the last three months he had tried so hard not to think about Laurent, but it was hard when he could only get off thinking about him buried deep inside of his body, his strong scent surrounding him. He had not tried to contact him, because he had made clear that it wasn’t going to work between them and he didn’t want to hear from Damen ever again. But Damen wanted him so badly. He had felt truly connected with someone else for the first time in his life, and he just couldn’t let it go. 

Sighing, he got up the floor and took his phone. 

When Nikandros answered, he was breathing hard. “Hey Damen- I’m training. Do you need something?” 

“Hi Nik. I was wondering if you were free, tonight,” 

“I am, actually. Do you want to go out?” 

“Yes,” he answered, immediately. “I need to get drunk.”

* * *

The club was just like he remembered, hot, dark and filled with scents. Damen and Nikandros were seated in a corner, almost secluded from the rest of the room. Damen was at his third drink, and wasn’t feeling as lightheaded as he would have liked. His eyes kept searching the room, as if they would find a blond head among the crowd. There was none. 

“Damen,” Nikandros was looking at him with a worried expression. “What’s going on?” 

“I broke up with Lykaios,” he admitted, like that was the reason he was feeling so miserable and trying to cloud his head with alcohol. 

“What? Why? She seemed so- your type,” Nik said, startled, taking a sip of his beer. 

“She was,” Damen told him, because it was the truth. Not the whole truth, though. “But I- I met someone, months ago, and I can’t seem to forget them.” 

“You didn’t mention before. Who was it?” Nikandros inquired, leaning on the table to be closer to his face. 

“He was- beautiful, and—” he stopped. He realised he didn’t know Laurent at all, but he couldn’t stop thinking about him. He had seen something in him, a thrilling kind of wit, a challenge, and he wanted it again. He sighed, brushing his face with a sweaty hand. Nikandros was still looking at him, silent, like he was waiting for him to continue. 

“He was an alpha,” he confessed, and felt his heart beating faster at his admission. Nikandros didn’t react, though. He just kept looking at him before sighing aloud. 

“He doesn’t want to be with me,” he added, before his friend could speak. He didn’t want to be judged, even if he knew, deep down in his heart, that Nikandros would never. 

“Maybe he’s just scared,” Nikandros said, and Damen nodded. 

“I thought as much. It’s just that I- he was so- I liked him so much. I never liked anyone as much, not even Jokaste.” 

Nikandros brushed his lips with a finger, thinking. “Do you think he’s worth it?” 

“Of course he is-” Damen said, but Nikandros interrupted him. 

“Do you think he is worth _everything_? The gazes, the whispers, the judgment, the _hate_. You know what they think about two alphas together. You know what they say. And you know I understand what’s like, and that I will always support you, no matter what you decide. But these kinds of relationships are difficult, and I don’t want you hurting for someone who doesn’t deserve your love.” 

Damen pressed the heels of his hand into his eyes. He had forgotten that Nikandros had a direct experience with this kind of hate; his cousin was married to another alpha woman, and they had to fight hard with society to be allowed to actually get married. The discrimination against Alpha couples was still a serious problem in their society. 

Damen felt his eyes burning with tears he was determined not to let out. He nodded, sniffing and drying his eyes with the back of his hand. “Laurent is worth it, he is so worth it. I just know it, Nik,” 

Nikandros nodded and took his hand, squeezing it hard. “Promise me something, Damen,” he said. Damen just nodded. “If you can’t contact him, or he still doesn’t want to be with you… even if he hurts, don’t chase him forever. I don’t want you to be sad your whole life. I know you put your heart into the people you love, but-” 

“Yeah,” Damen interrupted him, nodding. “Of course,” 

“No, Damen, listen to me,” Nikandros closed his eyes, briefly, before sighing. “You fall hard. And- no listen, Damen, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I love this about you, I admire you. But sometimes you have to accept the reality of things, even if it hurts. If he, if this Laurent rejects you, just stop thinking about him,” 

Damen sighed. It was easy for Nikandros to say it. It was not so easy to Damen. It was true that he fell hard, that he loved even harder. He gave himself to his lovers, he gave them everything he had and every part of his heart and soul. Sometimes that trust was betrayed, and he was left with holes in his heart, but he couldn’t stop loving like this. And he wanted to try to love Laurent, because he knew that it would be wonderful. 

Laurent wasn’t there, though. Damen stayed still, his back against the cushion on the bench, and sipped the drink that the waiter had just brought him. The alcohol was dry and tasted old on his tongue; he had always hated tequila, but it made him tipsy faster than other liquors. He would have done everything to find Laurent, but now all he could to was drinking and trying not to think about him, instead.

* * *

When he woke up, he felt like his head was exploding. His mouth tasted foul – he probably hadn’t brushed his teeth when he had gotten home, because he didn’t even remember getting home in the first place – and he just wanted to pass out in his bed for five other hours. Instead, he gathered all his willpower to get out of bed and take a shower. 

He admitted that it helped; he loved being under the water and showering always brought a sense of peace and calmness for a few minutes. He loved surrounding himself in smells like cider, lime, mint, sandalwood, he found them incredibly relaxing. 

He went back into the bedroom with only a towel around his waist; he lived alone, and there was no need for excessive clothing if there was no one complaining about his nakedness. He sat on his bed and sighed, remembering the cause of him wanting to get drunk. He opened the first drawer of his nightstand and took the phone he hadn’t dared to touch in the last months. He touched the screen and it lit, showing a photo of two young men: one was unmistakably Laurent, and the other looked like an older verson of him, his blond hair darker but the same deep, blue eyes. They were laughing and the older was hugging Laurent, who was dressed for what it looked like his graduation. He was beautiful. 

Apparently, Lauret didn’t bother to keep his phone locked because, when Damen slid a finger on the screen, the home popped up. His hands were trembling as he opened up the chat app and looked at the last contact he had texted: Auguste. He probably was the brother Laurent had talked about that morning. 

It took Damen an hour and countless calming breaths to gather up the courage to press the dial button, because his mind kept creating images of all terrible things that could’ve happened if he did it. Maybe his brother would have thought that he had stolen his phone, or asked why he had only called after three months. In the end, he just called. 

It took five rings before someone answered. 

“Um, hello?” the voice said, a little wary. 

“Hello!” Damen replied, a little nervous and trying to remember the speech he had rehearsed in the last hour. “My name is Damianos and I found this phone. I dialled the last contact the owner messaged, hoping it would help me to give it back to them.” 

“Ah, yes. La- my brother told me he lost it. I thought he said he would have called, but apparently he didn’t,” 

Damen bit his lower lip at Auguste’s words. Laurent truly didn’t want to have anything to do with him if he had refused to even call to have his phone back. He tried not to be too hurt by that. 

“Yeah, there were no missed calls,” Damen said, and quicky changed topic. “So, where can I meet your brother to give it back to him?” 

Auguste stayed silent for a second, before humming. “I think it’s fine if you bring it to our house. I’ll give you the address,” he said, giving him the street and number and telling him to come the next morning, if he was free. 

“Perfect, thank you!” 

“Thank you... Damianos, you said?” 

“Yes, but everyone calls me Damen,” he said, remembering the last time someone had called him by his full name. It had been Laurent, and he had whispered it in his ear before fucking him. He coughed lightly, as Auguste thanked him again and ended the call. 

He dried his sweaty hands on the towel and sighed, laying on the bed and closing his eyes. The next morning he would meet Laurent and he was so damn nervous. He knew that he hadn’t been completely sincere with Auguste and it wasn’t fair to Laurent to have kept his phone for so long, but he couldn’t bring himself to call sooner. And Laurent hadn’t called either, so that meant he didn’t care. 

His phone was still in his hand, and Damen tried, but he couldn’t stop looking into his photos. It was so wrong and he almost slapped himself in the face for even thinking about invading Laurent’s privacy like that but then- then he saw the first photo and his heart stopped. It was _him_. Sleeping and naked after they had the most amazing sex of his life. Clearly Laurent hadn’t been asleep while Damen had collapsed. The picture was poorly lit, but the outline of their bodies was clear, and even from Laurent’s perspective he had been able to take a beautiful shot. He could see Laurent still buried inside of him, his pale hand on his curls, gently stroking them. 

Damen felt his heart throb and his eyes water. The knot in his throat was big and painful and he couldn’t swallow it. If Laurent had taken that photo, why had he left? What had changed in the span of a few hours? Damen couldn’t find an explanation because, for him, nothing had. He was so into Laurent that it hurt. 

He swiped through the photos and smiled at the few of them that pictured Laurent – alone or with his brother – until he reached the last one. Damen made a choked sound and hastily closed the gallery like there was someone behind his shoulders watching him. He took a few deep breaths before opening it again and – even if he was prepared – he gasped. 

Laurent was on a bed – his bed, probably – and he was naked. His eyes were half closed and his lips parted and he had his hard cock into his hand. The picture was quite good, and it certainly hit Damen into the right places. His heart, at first. His cock, immediately after. He was almost surprised at how fast he got hard just by looking at that picture. He also felt a pang of jealousy thinking that probably Laurent had taken that picture for someone else’s pleasure. Laurent was so hot, and so beautiful, and Damen was glad he hadn’t put on any clothes because it would have taken too long to take them off. 

He never jerked off and came so fast in his life.

* * *

Laurent was exhausted when he got home. His boss was – well, he couldn’t say he was terrible, because he was not. Torveld was gentle and a fair leader, but he tended to linger too much on Laurent’s crotch, and he had started to suspect that he actually wanted Laurent to fuck him. 

Laurent sighed. Torveld was a beta, and he wasn’t his type at all. Even if he had been an omega, or everything else, he wouldn’t have been his type. He could have flirted with him, since he was clearly so much into him, but Laurent wasn’t like that. He knew Torveld would’ve said yes if he asked, but Laurent found it very unethical for him, not to mention very sad. He hadn’t gotten laid in the last three – almost four – months, relying only on his hands and memories to get off, and that made him irritable. It wasn’t fair. 

He went into the kitchen following the delicious smell that pervaded the house, and found Auguste busy with the final touches of their dinner. His brother smiled at him as he collapsed on a chair, closing his eyes and sighing loud. 

“I want to quit my job,” he whined, rubbing his shoulders. Auguste just laughed. 

“And why would you? I thought you loved your job,” 

“I love writing articles, but I hate waking up at 5 in the morning and coming back home at 8 in the evening. I hate that my boss wants me to fuck him and I’m starting to think that’s the only reason he hired me in the first place. And I hate even more that I need that fucking place because it’s prestigious and I have to work there for at least another two years if I want good references and move to somewhere else,” he vented, as he slammed his forehead on the table, groaning, in a fake attempt to pass out. 

Auguste just looked at him with an amused expression. “You know, you _could_ fuck him,” he said, and laughed when Laurent gave him a murderous look. “I’m joking. But you could use a good night of sex, you know? And I’m sure that Torveld didn’t hire you for your looks, but for your talent,” 

“I’m too busy, and you are nosey. Who told you I’m not seeing anyone?” 

“Your nerves,” Auguste simply answered, and placed to bowls on the table, silently telling Laurent to start eating. 

“I love this, you know?” Laurent sighed, taking a spoonful of bulgur. It tasted fresh, and Auguste vegetarian version was even better, with lime and mint and a lot of roasted vegetables. 

“Of course I know, Laurent. That’s why I make it every time I can,” he said, smiling, and the two stayed silent for some minutes while they ate. 

After dinner, while Auguste washed the dishes and Laurent dried them, his brother told him about a phone call he had received earlier in the afternoon. 

“Someone called me saying they found your phone,” Auguste said nonchalantly, not looking at Laurent. He freezed. 

“Well, that’s great, but I already have a new phone,” 

“So what? You complained all the time that you lost some notes that you only had there,” Auguste argued, frowning. Laurent hoped that the person that had called Auguste was not who he thought he was. “And also, Damianos sounded so happy that could give it back to you,” 

Now Auguste was being smug, believing he had discovered some big secret of Laurent. He just didn’t want to talk about him. 

“Well, I hope you told this Damianos to bring it to the police or something,” 

“Oh, don’t be silly. I invited him here tomorrow morning,” 

“ _What_?” Laurent yelled, incapable of controlling himself. “You _know_ tomorrow it’s my day off, Auguste,” 

“That’s exactly why I did it! You have to be here and thank him properly,” 

“I don’t have to do anything,” he argued, angry, and he had to stop himself from crashing every single piece of their ceramic set on the sink. 

“Laurent,” Auguste said, softly. 

“Stop it, I don’t want you to talk,” he lifted a hand and left the kitchen. 

“Why did you lie to me?” Auguste said, following him upstairs. “Laurent, wait!” 

Laurent turned, livid, and he was even angrier because he didn’t know why he was so angry with Auguste. He only knew that he was. 

“I didn’t lie,” 

“Yes, you did. You told me you had called,” 

“I did,” Laurent lied, and Auguste knew him too much to believe him. 

“Damianos said there wasn’t-” 

“Well, maybe Damianos lied! Haven’t you thought about it? Why did he even wait three months to call? That’s suspicious, don’t you think?” 

“I don’t know, but if there’s something you want to tell me-” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Auguste. Your insistence is annoying, and now I’m going to bed, since I can’t even sleep all morning, if that was my plan,” Laurent interrupted him, and opened the door of his bedroom. 

“You never sleep past nine-” 

“Goodnight, Auguste,” Laurent said, and slammed the door shut. 

He sank on his bed, his fingers through the knots of his locks. He couldn’t believe that Damen would have been there in a few hours. The man he had tried to avoid and not think about for the last months. There was no way he was going to sleep.

* * *

Damen did not sleep. He was too nervous, and anxious that he would not hear the alarm clock ring and would miss the appointment with Auguste and Laurent. Oh, god. He was going to Laurent’s house. He was going to throw up. 

He called Nikandros. 

“Damen, what the hell? It’s... 6.45 in the morning. Why on earth are you even awake?” 

“I feel sick. I feel nauseous and I’m going to throw up,” he said, groaning. 

“Take something, drink water and eat crackers,” Nikandros yawned, slurring. 

“It’s not that kind of nausea! I’m nervous. I’m going to meet Laurent to give him his phone back. And, well, his brother. But he will be there too,” 

“Oh, I understand. You remember what I told you, right?” 

“Yes, Nik,” Damen sighed. 

“Good. Remember it while you talk with him and try not to be too enchanted with his blond hair, blue eyes or whatever,” 

“Wait, how do you--” 

“Please, don’t insult my knowledge about you. Now get up, have some breakfast and calm your nerves, okay?” 

“Okay,” Damen said, too stunned to be saying anything else. 

“Goodnight, Damen,” Nik said, even if it was morning, and ended the call. 

Damen could barely eat, but he forced some orange juice and toast down his throat before giving up. Eating didn’t ease his nervousness, it only made him worry he would actually throw something up. 

He hadn’t ever felt like this. Ever. For anyone. That’s what scared him the most. He couldn’t fully understand the extent of his feelings, or why he couldn’t forget him like he had forgotten many of his one-night stands. Maybe it was because he was something different. Could it be that Laurent represented something he had always wanted, but couldn’t admit to himself? 

Without him noticing, it was time to leave. He dressed quickly and made sure he had Laurent’s phone in his pocket, and he left the apartment.

* * *

Laurent was bouncing his legs under the table, unable to stay still. He couldn’t hide he was anxious, not to Auguste, even if that behaviour would only have led to countless questions. Auguste knew Laurent’s anxiety and knew how to calm him. That’s why he didn’t jump when he felt two warm hands on his shoulders, trying to soothe the tension. He still felt bad for yelling at him. 

“Laurent,” Auguste’s voice was soft and gentle and Laurent wanted to be lost in it. “I don’t know what happened with this man, and I’m ready to kick him out if he hurt you-” 

“He didn’t hurt me,” Lauret whispered. He was hurt, but it wasn’t Damen’s fault. It wasn’t his fault either. 

“Okay, that’s good. I don’t know, I don’t understand why you feel this bad, then, but it’s your place to tell me. You only need to know that I’m with you every step of this journey,” 

Despite his nervousness, Laurent felt himself smile. He grabbed one of his arms and leaned against it, exhaling. “I’m sorry I was unpleasant, yesterday. I’m nervous and- I... I slept with Damen. And then I couldn’t- I couldn’t see him again. I just couldn’t. I panicked, and I tried to forget him,” Laurent confessed, not telling him the whole truth. 

“Why? What happened?” Auguste asked, stroking his hair with affection. 

It wasn’t the fact that Damen was a man. Homosexual couples were not judged anymore. Hell, omega men could carry and birth babies, it would have been really stupid to discriminate. But masculinity among alphas was still... more than toxic. Even among alpha women, it was somehow still expected to be the dominant half of the couple. Alpha couples were seen as a threat to that delicate mechanism of dominance and submission. Omega were expected to be obedient, alphas to be dominant. Who could fulfil the omega role in an Alpha couple? One of the two would be less... just less. Like they missed something. Laurent had hated this the moment he presented and understood what his second gender meant to society. He was separated from his friends who presented as beta or omega, was chastised when he showed too much of his feelings. He hadn’t been allowed to cry for the death of his parents in public, only sobbing into Auguste arms in the privacy of their home. Auguste had always been one of the few people in his life who had never followed the silly and archaic rules imposed by their society, and had raised Laurent not to be afraid of his emotions, but still aware of what it meant being an Alpha in public.  
Even thinking about how many times he had forced himself not to follow his instinct at school, at work, only because he was seen as an emotionless person by nature, only because he was born to be slightly stronger than others, because he was made to procreate with basically everyone regardless of their biological or secondary gender... it made him sick. 

Luckily he didn’t have to answer to Auguste, because the bell rang. He stilled into Auguste arms and he only whispered two words into Laurent’s ears before going to the door to greet Damianos.

* * *

The door opened and a young man greeted him with a polite smile. He was dark skinned and his dark curls framed his squared face. He seemed nervous, fidgeting with his fingers into the pockets of his leather jacket. Auguste scrutinized him, but it wasn’t until he entered the house that he _knew_. 

Laurent seemed to have left the kitchen, and he was pale and immobile. He was looking at the man like he was threatening him and, even if Laurent had sworn that Damianos had done nothing wrong, nothing to hurt him, he still wanted to take his brother into his arms and take him as far away as possible. 

Damianos was an Alpha. It was unmistakable so, even – or maybe more because of – the distressed scent that he emanated. Auguste looked at Laurent and he gave him the most desperate of the looks. Auguste felt his heart clench. 

“Thank you so much for returning my brother’s phone, Damianos,” he said, and saw how his words startled the other man, as he hadn’t expected him to talk, like he was lost in his own thoughts. 

“I- it’s no problem...” he answered, voice uncertain. He opened his mouth to talk, but Auguste preceded him. 

“I’m sorry I made you come all the way here to dismiss you so soon, but I hare important matters I need to talk about with my brother, if you don’t mind...” Auguste said, his voice stern but polite, and he reached out waiting for Damen to give him the phone. 

Damen hesitated. It was clear that he was confused by Auguste change of manners, but couldn’t really understand why. 

“Is there any problem?” Auguste talked again, and this time his voice was more impatient. 

“Auguste,” 

Laurent voice interrupted them, and both men turned to the corner where Laurent was nested, at safe distance from the door. He stepped forward and Auguste saw the way Damianos followed his every step, mouth slightly parted, body tense with expectations. His scent also betrayed him: it reeked of want and affection, as if this man knew anything about his brother. Auguste felt himself becoming angry and protective, and it frightened him because he hadn’t felt those particular emotion for a long time. 

“Auguste, this is not the _time_ -” Laurent spoke again, his voice calm and emotionless, while Auguste still had his arm stretched out waiting for the damn phone. 

“ _This is not the time_?” Auguste all but said calmly. He saw how his tone was irritating Laurent but couldn’t stop, couldn’t think about anything but what Laurent hadn’t told him. “Are you telling me I should not be at least surprised that the man you have been pining for the last three months, the man that you don’t seem to be able to forget and that terrifies you to talk about, is an _Alpha_?” he pronounced the words like they tasted foul. 

Laurent closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing steadily. 

“You thought about me?” Damen spoke for the first time in what seemed like hours. It startled Laurent and Auguste looked at him with a blank expression. 

“Is that really the only thing you care about the whole conversation?” 

Damen had the dignity to blush but still nodded. “Laurent I... I thought about you every single day. I can’t seem to move on and I need you to tell me you haven’t forgotten me either or tell me to fuck off because I can’t not know. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t-” 

“I’m only a good fuck, Damianos. You don’t know anything about me! How can you possibly think that I’m good for you if you don’t know a single thing about my life?” 

“A date, then,” 

“What?” 

“Come to a date with me. If you still think we are not made for each other then I will leave you alone,” 

Auguste had followed the conversation like he was watching a tennis match. He still had the arm stretched out. He lowered it, and turned to Laurent. “You don’t have to answer. I’ll have him out of here in a second if you-” 

“Okay,” Laurent answered. 

“What?” Auguste and Damianos said at the same time, both with the same tone. 

“A date. If it doesn’t work out, you leave me alone. Now go the fuck out of my house,” Laurent said, exhaustion palpable in his tone, and he snatched the phone from Damen’s hand before he turned and went back to the kitchen, leaving two incredulous men behind him.

* * *

Laurent heard the front door close with a soft click. He knew what was coming for him, but still wasn’t ready for it. 

Auguste didn’t come into the kitchen, though. An hour had passed and he was still alone in the room. Sighing, he got up and walked out, expecting for Auguste to be gone, but he was wrong. His brother was on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his hands linked under his chin. He had changed clothes and his hair seemed wet. 

“What have you done? Auguste?” 

“I showered,” he said, simply, but his voice was rough. Laurent’s eyes widened. 

“Did you _cry_?” his tone was shocked. 

“There’s no need to tease me,” Auguste replied, angrily, and he got up, probably to go away from Laurent. Laurent stopped him by hugging him, tightly. He slid his hands into his hair and closed his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Auguste, I didn’t mean to,” he said, and Auguste just hugged him back, silent. 

They stayed like that for a long time, and if Auguste was the first to break the hug, Laurent was the one who spoke. 

“Why have you cried?” 

“I didn’t know how to deal with my thoughts and feelings,” he said, and the honesty in his brother’s eyes made his stomach clench. He didn’t want to be a burden for Auguste ever again. His brother must have read his thoughts because his face became a little bit softer and stroke his hair. “Laurent, this is not because of you,” 

“Of course it’s because of me,” he replied, his voice harder than he meant it to be. He still didn’t move away from him. 

Auguste just sighed and shook his head. “I’m just worried-” 

“Worried of what?” Laurent interrupted him, angry once again. He felt irritated that he seemed unable to control his emotions in front of his own brother of all people. “That he damaged me? That I’m like him? That the fact the he ab- that he did what he did to me is the reason why I liked fucking Damen so much? Trust me, I’ve thought about that long enough for the both of us in the last months,” 

He was breathing hard when he stopped talking and he was just a little bit relieved to see that he had shocked Auguste with his words, hurt, even. 

“That was not was I was thinking about,” 

“Yes, it was. Don’t lie to me, Auguste,” 

“It wasn’t!” Auguste exploded. “I just—your life has been hard enough, and I wasn’t able to help you in the past. I feel unable to help you now. I don’t want you hurt just because of him,” 

“It’s not him that will hurt me,” he said, all traces of anger disappeared. He only felt tired, emptied. “It’s everyone else who will. Everyone who will react badly just because they will be able to smell us and think that we are wrong just because of our biology. Everyone who will want to shame, to change us because we were brave enough to live like we wanted, like our hearts wanted. That’s why I tried so hard to forget him. Uncle- he’s just a part of my past and maybe a part of this too, but not in the way that you think. I’m just scared, Auguste. Scared I will not be able to fight for the rest of my life.” 

When he looked up he saw that Auguste was crying again. Silent, hot tears ran down his cheeks and his heart broke just a bit. “Auguste...” he begged. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Laurent,” he shook his head, smiling just a little. “That’s what I feared. That you would really feel something for him. I am scared too, Laurent. Scared that I will not be able to help you if people hurt you because of who you love. Not helping you again is my worst nightmare,” 

Laurent didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t lie to him and say that everything would be alright, because he didn’t know. It would probably be ugly and difficult. While he held Auguste, Laurent thought that the only important thing now was to know if Damianos was worth it. If he was worth _him_.

* * *

His phone rang and Damianos turned on his side, to the nightstand where it was charging. He put the book down on the duvet and answered it, without looking at it. 

“Hello?” 

“I found your photo,” the man on the other side of the phone said. Damianos’ heart skipped a beat and he felt himself flush as soon as he recognised the other’s voice. 

“Laurent?” 

“Did you leave a photo of you on someone else’s phone?” 

“No, I- I'm sorry about that. I shouldn’t have,” he admitted, feeling guilty. 

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have, but still... I wouldn’t have had your number, so don’t feel too bad about it,” 

Damianos felt himself smile a little, relaxing against the bed. “How are you? You seemed... distressed, this morning,” 

Laurent made a humming sound, but didn’t answer. “I’m fine,” he simply said. “I was thinking we could go out next Saturday,” 

“Really?” Damen asked. He hadn’t expected Laurent to be the one who asked him out. 

“You insisted,” Laurent said, like that was the reason. 

“Okay, I can’t wait for it. Let me arrange it,” Damen answered, and he felt his smile widen. He was happy, so damn happy that he would be able to see Laurent again. 

“Damianos...” Laurent breathed and, if he wasn’t so focused on him, Damen would have missed it. He shivered at the way he said his name. 

“Yeah?” Damen said, his voice strangled. Damn, he was so into him it was embarassing. 

“I changed my mind,” he said, and Damen felt his heart sink. He couldn’t say anything, though, because Laurent spoke again. “I want to meet you tonight. Are you free?” 

“Of course, yes!” he said, too eager for his own ears. 

“Great,” Laurent replied, and he swore he could feel him smile. “I’ll text you the address. It's a small place, one of my favourites actually. It’s informal, so don’t worry about the outfit,” 

“Perfect, Laurent. I can’t wait for it. I’m so glad you said yes,” 

“I’m waiting for it, too. See you later, Damianos,” he said, and ended the call.

* * *

_The Veretian Way_ was a small teahouse who extended vertically on two floors. It was painted in blues and gold and black and it had heavy tapestry that should have made the whole place feel oppressive but it did not. When Laurent arrived, Damen wasn’t there yet, of course. He was 15 minutes early because he wanted to choose the best table available and order for himself and Damen, which he did. 

He probably should have admitted to himself that he was nervous, but he didn’t, and that was because he refused to be agitated by something trivial like a date. If it wouldn’t go well, it just wouldn’t. He couldn’t do anything to change that, he thought, without realising that being there was enough. 

When the door opened he saw Damen come in, and he had some precious seconds to look at him without him knowing. He had tight light blue jeans that hugged his thighs and calves perfectly, and he caught a glimpse of a red t-shirt under the leather jacket. He had a smile on his face, his dimple showing, and Laurent loved how relaxed and at ease he looked. Damen fixed his hair, a dark curl that had escaped from his place and fallen in front of his eyes, and then he turned and looked at Laurent with a blinding smile. Laurent felt his stomach ache. Fuck. 

He waved at him and Damen approached the table, sitting in front of him. He was still smiling, like he couldn’t stop himself from doing it. Neither of them talked for a second, and when they did, they talked at the same time, which cause an embarassed laugh from the both of them. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so nervous,” Damen admitted, playing with a napkin. Laurent was about to answer, but the waiter came and brought their teacups and pastries. Laurent blushed when Damen looked at him, still smiling but questioning. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” he said. “I think you’ll like what I picked for you. I guessed you would like a blend with distinct flavours, black tea, something particular in it,” 

Damen was still looking at him, but he saw something else in his eyes, something Laurent couldn’t decipher. Damen just took a sugar cube and dropped it into the cup before stirring it delicately. 

“Let me guess,” he said. “I smell rose, and something fruity. I think... raspberry? And, _oh_. Is that chocolate?” 

Laurent couldn’t help but laugh at him, partly because he was amazed by how Damen had managed to guess all the ingredients, and partly at the tone he was using, like a child in a candy shop. 

“You guessed everything right,” 

“Ha! I knew, I’m the best at... smelling things,” he said, blushing a little for his phrasing. Laurent liked the shade of his skin when he blushed. I suited him. 

“Now taste it,” said Laurent, who hadn’t touched his tea yet. 

Damen took a careful sip and Laurent look at his face changing at least three different expression in the span of three seconds: concentration, awe, and delight. “Wow, this- this is like... there’s a lot of things going on in my mouth right now,” he said, laughing. He drank again, nodding. “Yeah, this is a complete experience. How did you know?” 

“Just luck,” Laurent said, even if he wasn’t a modest person. He just couldn’t explain how he chose blends of tea for the people he cared about. He had done one for Auguste too. “I’m very glad you liked it. I made it for you,” 

“You...? Really?” Damen seemed speechless at his words. “You mean it’s unique?” 

“Yeah, I mean... That’s not so special, it’s common ingredients. But yes, I made it just for you, if that’s what you mean,” 

Damianos’ smile went impossibly softer at his words, and he reached out for his hand and Laurent let him take it. “Thank you, I love it. This... this is one of the most beautiful things someone ever made for me,” 

Laurent could only blush, and tried to mask it taking a sip of his own tea. Damianos was slowly brushing his fingers with his thumb and Laurent couldn’t say if he felt hot because of that or because he was drinking. 

They split the pastries and didn’t talk about anything for a few minutes. Laurent knew he should have said something, at least justify his behaviour, but he just couldn’t. When he tried to speak, he felt like words were stuck into his lungs. 

Damen squeezed his hand. “Don’t think,” he whispered. Laurent felt numb. 

“I’m sorry I behaved like that this morning. I’m sorry I behaved like that in the last three months,” he said without thinking, and he felt his heart beat so much faster after he had spoken. 

“I’m sorry too. I’m happy you’re here, though. I understand it must be difficult for you,” 

“I- that’s not—” Laurent tried, but words failed him. He wished to say it wasn’t his fault, he wished to tell him everything about himself, and his fears, and his lost and won battles. But that was not the right time or place. 

“Hey,” Damen said, softly, and when Laurent looked at him, he was smiling gently. “You don’t have to justify. You don’t have to feel like you own me an explanation, or that you have to tell me everything right now. You don’t even have to see me again, if you don’t feel like doing it. I meant it. I just wanted a date,” 

Laurent felt his fingers tingling where they still joined Damen’s. “I want to. See you again,” he said. “I want to see you tomorrow, and the day after. Damen... I like you so much, do you know it?” 

Damen’s smile seemed impossibly wide and happy. “I know how it feels, sweetheart,” 

Laurent blushed at the nickname and leaned on the table. When their lips met, it felt like everything fell into the right place, like Damen was the missing piece of his puzzle. He could smell his sweet breath and parted his lips with his tongue, wishing to taste it, too. Damen reciprocated easily, and the kiss ended too soon. When they parted, they were red and smiling. 

As they walked home, their fingers barely brushing, Laurent felt something settle deep into his chest, a calming sensation he hadn’t felt in a long time, a sensation he didn’t even know he could still feel. It was trust. Laurent was sure, Damen was worth _everything_.

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Auguste being a big brother, and I love my boy Laurent showing emotions. I'm a sap. I love him.


End file.
